Quentin Spoils Sweep

After showing their overwhelming pummeling ability the past two days, the Tribe missed out on a sweep of the Chicago Doodoo Heads by falling today 8-7. Good news for the Euclid Elites: we took two of three from our AL Central inferiors and we get to go home! Bad news: Sizemore is out for the year with a bum leg. If he were a horse, he would be put down. A few weekend highlights were the Tribe beating up on Obama BFF Mark Buehrle, Team USA's Lou Marson's first homer as an Indian, and UF drop-out Austin Kearns' eight hits during the series.

The Cuyahoga Cool People (???) are now 21-34 and still 11.5 behind big-market Minnesota. Game tomorrow vs. Boston facing fantasy baseball team member Jon Lester. I hope Lester has 22 K's and loses 1-0.

Stuff you should know: Danny Ferry "resigned" as the Cavs' GM...Mangini is holding a youth camp in the football-hotbed that is Hartford, CT.

Shin-Sheen Soo-Cha Choo

The Tribe dropped a narrow 12-6 decision today to Journey's Detroit Tigers. Choo, Korean superstar and fantasy baseball team member, led the mighty Parma Pounders with 2, count them 2, doubles. Yes, I said doubleS. Valbuena, meaning "good val" in English, also led the mighty offensive attack with 1 double. Noted one-hit phenom Armando Galarraga did not pitch today. He pitched yesterday.

The Solon Sultans fell to 19-33 after today's buzzer-beating loss, and only 11.5 GB of Prince's Minnesota Twins. The Tribe and Justin Masterson travel to play Vince Vaughn's Chicago White Sox. Masterson is 0-5. I predict he will be 3-5 by the end of the weekend.

Stuff you should know: 2014 Heisman Trophy winner Braxton Miller signed with Ohio State today...Paul Warfield retired from his job in Browns' front office. Warfield also played football...Today's rumored Cavs' new coach: Byron Scott.

Congrats on your 1-hitter!

The Tribe fell to Tim Allen's Detroit Tigers behind Austin Jackson's historic 3 for 4 performance and Miggy Cabrera's solo homer. Armando Galarraga also threw a one-hitter and had his perfect game stolen from him due to a terrible call by poetlariat Jim Joyce. I'm not sure if Galarraga's unperfect game deserves any further mention. Crowe, Choo, Hafner, Peralta, Redmond, Grudzielanek, Kearns, Branyan and Donald combined to go 1 for 28 for the North Olmsted Ninjas.

David Huff makes his first post-near death experience for the Bay Village Bullies tomorrow afternoon against Sonny Bono's Detroit Tigers.

Stuff you should know: Coach K is not bringing his nasally smugness to the Cavs...Kerry Wood is the 3rd highest-paid Indian on the team this year (stats: 8.1 IP, 9.72 ERA)...ESPN.com (whose initials must have anti-Cleveland sentiment) named the Browns' QB line change (3 in, 3 out) as one of the 5 worst offseason moves.

A Detroit Massacre

The Tribe humiliated Kid Rock's Detroit Tigers today by a score of 3-2. Jakey W. picked up his 3rd win of the 2010 season. The Berea Bombers improved to 19-31 on the strength of homeruns by Korean hero and starting outfielder for my fantasy team Shin-Soo Choo, and a homer by strike-out machine Russell Branyan. Jeremy Bonderman got shelled for 3 runs in 8 inning. It is unknown if Bonderman will remain in the Tiger rotation.

Tomorrow Fausto Carmona takes his slender 3.69 ERA into Comerica Park to give the Tigers a chance to lick their paws after today's 3-2 pounding administered by the Euclid Euthanizers.

Stuff you should know: Lebron told marriage-enthusiast Larry King that the Cavs had an "edge" in the free-agent sweepstakes, ESPN is pissed...Montario Hardesty has alledgedly been running like one bad man in OTA's